Joke Time ----------
 Husband sat in his room throwing darts 🎯 at his wife's photo but not even a single one hit the Target.   🎯
From another room wife asks the husband :
"What are u doing?"
Husband : "MISSING YOU "

*********************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
  An American Family - - Youngest Son: Dad, what's difrnce btwn
 'hypothetically' & 'reality'?
 Dad turns to wife: Would u sleep with tom cruise for 1million?
 Wife: of course! I would never waste such an opportunity..
 Then Dad asks daughter: wud u sleep with tom cruise for 1 Milion?
 Daughter:Yes He s my fantasy! Dad asks elder son: Would u sleep with, tom cruise for 1 million?
 Elder Son: Why not.. Imagine what I could do with that money!
 Father turns to his younger son: u see son, 'Hypothetically' we r sitting
 with 3 million, but in 'Reality' we r living with 2 prostitutes & 1 gay
 Bastard :):):)
*********************************************************************************

Jokes

Don't Forget to Comments on this Page 

Joke Time ----------
First friend with 2nd friend := fight between you and your wife has been finished ?
2nd Friend   := Yes ! she came to me on knees
First Friend := That's the spirit man , Did you forgive her when she bend her knees in front of you  .
2nd Friend   := Ya me forgive her, when she said come out from under the bed i will not beat you any more .

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
Wife AT Night !! Tell me How much Sachine score in 2003 world cup against Pakistan .
Husband !! 98 why you are asking
Wife !! Now tell me why you  didn't wish me for my Birthday since Morning ?
Husband remain silent because he cant even say I had bad memory .


*****************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
Interviewee =: May i come Sir ?
Interviewer =: yes please have a seet ,show me your documents ?
Interviewee =: Sure sir .
Interviewer =: Your experience and Education seem to be perfect for this job, But you
                        have to pass one Test .Take my Laptop and i want you to try and sell this to me .
Interviewee =: Put laptop under his arm , walked out of building and went home .
Interviewer =: Called on his mobile and said " Bring it back here right now! "
Interviewee =: Said " $250 and its yours. "

*****************************************************************************

joke time -----

Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want."
The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied, "Tell people you know their secret."
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!" The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10."
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!" The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!" The mail man opened his arms and said,
 "Come, give your dad a hug"!


*****************************************************************************

 Joke Time ----

A little boy asked his dad:
"What's between mom's legs?"
The father replied" "Paradise"
The kid asks again: "What's between your legs?"
The father replies: "The key to the paradise".
The son says: "Piece of advice dad, change the lock
The Neighbor has a Copy of key

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
A boy is home with his babysitter on a stormy night when the boy says
"Usually on a stormy night mommy lets me cuddle with her". The
babysitter responds with "OK". They are cuddling when the boy says
"Usually mommy lets me take a bath". The babysitter says "ok". The boy
is in the tub when he says "Usually mommy gets in with me". The
babysitter says "Really? ok". They are in the tub when the boy says
"Usually my mommy lets me touch her bellybutton" The babysitter says
"Really? ummmmm ok".
Then the babysitter says "Hey that wasn't my bellybutton!" The boy
says "That wasn't my finger either."

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
An elderly couple went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What
can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished,
the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have
intercourse." And he charged them $20.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an
appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor, and leave. Finally the
doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is
married and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to
my house. Holiday Inn charges $32. The Hilton charges $37. We do it
here for $20 and I get $18 back from Medicare for a visit to the
doctor's office."

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time-----
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the
electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under
our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the
plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't
mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both
his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under
our bed."

*****************************************************************************


joke Time-----

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

 *****************************************************************************

joke time----
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

 *****************************************************************************

Joke Time------
A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

 ***************************************************************************** 

Joke Time ---

Once a lady who has six children  get married with the man who also have six child and after marriage
she gave birth to  more six children once all children fight each other she call her husband and said .
" Listen You Children and MY Children are beating Our Children " 

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time-----------
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
"Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

*****************************************************************************


Joke Time-----------
A girl was in the restaurant yesterday when she suddenly realized she desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so she timed her
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, she started to feel better. she finished her coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at her....
Then she suddenly remembered that she was listening to  iPod.

*****************************************************************************

joke time ----
A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time-----------

A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.

A husband, "Put 'MYPENIS' " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough."

*****************************************************************************

joke time ----

A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in.

When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast.

 The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me."

 so the woman replies,

"If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."

*****************************************************************************

joke time----

A couple had a fight one night when they were going to bed, Husband Taunted:Good night mother of 3 kids. Wife Replied:Good night Father of none.

*****************************************************************************

Joke time...----

 Wife: I am going to London ..what gift do u want? Husband:A British girl....

Wife returns from London... Husband: Where is my gift babe? Wife:Wait 9 months !!!!

*****************************************************************************

joke time ---

Girl: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me.. Boy: What a joke? Okay then, let's start with Kisses!"

*****************************************************************************

joke Time ----

Q: Why does a penis have a hole in the end?

A: So men can be open minded.

*****************************************************************************

Joke time...----

 Wife: I am going to Newyork ..what gift do u want? Husband:A American girl....

Wife returns from Newyork... Husband: Where is my gift babe? Wife:Wait 9 months !!!!

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
Husband := I thinking to call me friend on dinner
Wife := are you mad ?. Kids make whole house dirty and even kids cloths are also dirty . One more thing if you call you friend i cant make food even you also .because you have to clean the house .
Husband := That's why i am calling him because that stupid are going to marry  !!!!.

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
Wife AT Night !! Tell me How much Sachine score in 2003 world cup against Pakistan .
Husband !! 98 why you are asking
Wife !! Now tell me why you  didn't wish me for my Birthday since Morning ?
Husband remain silent because he cant even say I had bad memory .


*****************************************************************************

Joke Time ----------
Interviewee =: May i come Sir ?
Interviewer =: yes please have a seet ,show me your documents ?
Interviewee =: Sure sir .
Interviewer =: Your experience and Education seem to be perfect for this job, But you have to pass                              one Test .Take my Laptop and i want you to try and sell this to me .
Interviewee =: Put laptop under his arm , walked out of building and went home .
Interviewer =: Called on his mobile and said " Bring it back here right now! "
Interviewee =: Said " $250 and its yours. "

*****************************************************************************
====================================================================
*****************************************************************************

Jokes 3

JOKE Time-----------------

Man: Women are very Means !

Woman: Proof it ....

Man: Most Woman dony't like to help Unknown Men

                      Butt

     All Men are ready to Help Unknow Women.....!

******************************************************************************

JOKE Time-----------------

Husband and wife are going in a car and suddenly rain starts and wind screen become blind so everything become unseen able out of car , they escape from accident ,

wife : Darling clean the wind screen .

Husband : No need to worry dear it’s okay .

Wife : After some time wife shouted stop the car and let me clean the wind screen

Husband : Its useless babe because, i left my glasses at home .

******************************************************************************

JOKE Time-----------------

Once a man is passing from Jungle after having fight with her girlfriend, she is searching for him and calling his name. During his way man found a vampire came in front of him.

Vampire : Today I will drink your blood .

Man : Do not drink my blood its cold but my girlfriend blood is very hot every time she is yelling at me .

Vampire : No today I want to take cold drink J.

******************************************************************************

JOKE Time-----------------

Husband : Hi babe why don't you use birth control pills.
Wife : Why birth control pills is for ladies
Husband : there is no issue for me i thinking first kid is just for 2 months
wife : I mean birth control pills should probably be made for men .
Husband : Why ?
Wife :  Its make more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest  .

******************************************************************************

JOKE Time-----------------

1st Boy : This morning , I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
2nd boy : You most did something wrong
1st Boy : Maybe
2nd Boy : By the why what you did ?
1st Boy : I was staring at her boobs when she said " Would you please press 1 "  and i I DID SO  softly
2nd Boy : Duffer she said to press first floor button ( 1 ).

******************************************************************************

Jokes 2

Joke Time---
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

*****************************************************************************

Joke Time----
James was walking down the road one morning when he met his friend Danny.
"Morning, Danny. Er ... Danny, you're wearing a glove on one hand and none on the other. Did you know?" "Yes, well I heard the weather forecast this morning, you see."
"The Weather forecast?"
"Yes, the weather forecast. the forecaster said on the one hand it might be fine but on the other hand there might be some rain."

*****************************************************************************

joke time -----
A store that sells new husbands has opened where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender biased allegations, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and cook.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

*****************************************************************************

Joke time ------
There is a husband who allways tell his wife he help her a lot in his life
Husband: tells to his wife,tell me a such work of you life in which i am not include.
Wife: says , well hubby i m pregnant

*****************************************************************************


Joke Time ---
Once Princess enters shop and shouts, where--is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: There is no any Gift with this Oil madam
 Princess : Listen there is written on It " CHOLESTROL FREE?"
*****************************************************************************
*****************************************************************************

Why should we laugh ?

The things we can do to enjoy life more is to laugh, because we feel good when we laugh, but there is also some evidence which shows laugh is good for our health also. Laughter offers a number of positive organic effects on the human body. Strengthens immune system, reduces cravings and makes people more resistant to pain. Reduces the pressure, stress and increases the flexibility of muscles

Laughter makes you feel good. And the good feeling that you get when you laugh remains with you even after the laughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficult situations, disappointments, and loss. More than just a respite from sadness and pain, laughter gives you the courage and strength to find new sources of meaning and hope. Even in the most difficult of times, a laugh–or even simply a smile–can go a long way toward making you feel better. And laughter really is contagious—just hearing laughter primes your brain and readies you to smile and join in the fun.

Humor plays an important role in relationships from initial attraction to long-term commitment. In new relationships, humor can be an effective tool not just for attracting the other person but also for overcoming any awkwardness or embarrassment that arises during dating and the process of getting to know one another. In longer-term relationships, humor can keep things exciting, fresh, and vibrant. It can also help you overcome conflicts, disagreements, and the tiny aggravations than can build up over time and wreck even the strongest of relationships. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.

Laughter protects the heart.  A recent study showed that people with heart disease were 40% less likely to laugh in a variety of situations compared to people of the same age without heart disease. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems. Researchers from the University of Maryland conducted tests about the endothelial function of arteries in a group volunteers with an average age of 33 years. The results showed that when the volunteers watched films that made them laugh, the functionality of the endothelium was significantly better. This translates into better blood flow in the arteries. Laughter relaxes the body. Laughing relieves tension and relaxes our muscles, an effect that has been shown to last for up to 45 minutes after. Laughter puts you in a better mood. Laughing triggers the release of hormones in the brain called endorphins. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being. Laughter decreases pain. Endorphins also temporarily relieve pain and are often called the body's natural pain killer. Laughter decreases anxiety and stress. There is a decrease in stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline as a result of laughing. And people who laugh more tend to report lower anxiety and feelings of stress. Laughter may boost the immune system. Some studies show that laughing increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus potentially improving our resistance to disease.

 ====================================================================