Jokes 2

Joke Time---
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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Joke Time----
James was walking down the road one morning when he met his friend Danny.
"Morning, Danny. Er ... Danny, you're wearing a glove on one hand and none on the other. Did you know?" "Yes, well I heard the weather forecast this morning, you see."
"The Weather forecast?"
"Yes, the weather forecast. the forecaster said on the one hand it might be fine but on the other hand there might be some rain."

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joke time -----
A store that sells new husbands has opened where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender biased allegations, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and cook.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

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Joke time ------
There is a husband who allways tell his wife he help her a lot in his life
Husband: tells to his wife,tell me a such work of you life in which i am not include.
Wife: says , well hubby i m pregnant

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Joke Time ---
Once Princess enters shop and shouts, where--is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: There is no any Gift with this Oil madam
 Princess : Listen there is written on It " CHOLESTROL FREE?"
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Why should we laugh ?

The things we can do to enjoy life more is to laugh, because we feel good when we laugh, but there is also some evidence which shows laugh is good for our health also. Laughter offers a number of positive organic effects on the human body. Strengthens immune system, reduces cravings and makes people more resistant to pain. Reduces the pressure, stress and increases the flexibility of muscles

Laughter makes you feel good. And the good feeling that you get when you laugh remains with you even after the laughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficult situations, disappointments, and loss. More than just a respite from sadness and pain, laughter gives you the courage and strength to find new sources of meaning and hope. Even in the most difficult of times, a laugh–or even simply a smile–can go a long way toward making you feel better. And laughter really is contagious—just hearing laughter primes your brain and readies you to smile and join in the fun.

Humor plays an important role in relationships from initial attraction to long-term commitment. In new relationships, humor can be an effective tool not just for attracting the other person but also for overcoming any awkwardness or embarrassment that arises during dating and the process of getting to know one another. In longer-term relationships, humor can keep things exciting, fresh, and vibrant. It can also help you overcome conflicts, disagreements, and the tiny aggravations than can build up over time and wreck even the strongest of relationships. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.

Laughter protects the heart.  A recent study showed that people with heart disease were 40% less likely to laugh in a variety of situations compared to people of the same age without heart disease. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems. Researchers from the University of Maryland conducted tests about the endothelial function of arteries in a group volunteers with an average age of 33 years. The results showed that when the volunteers watched films that made them laugh, the functionality of the endothelium was significantly better. This translates into better blood flow in the arteries. Laughter relaxes the body. Laughing relieves tension and relaxes our muscles, an effect that has been shown to last for up to 45 minutes after. Laughter puts you in a better mood. Laughing triggers the release of hormones in the brain called endorphins. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being. Laughter decreases pain. Endorphins also temporarily relieve pain and are often called the body's natural pain killer. Laughter decreases anxiety and stress. There is a decrease in stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline as a result of laughing. And people who laugh more tend to report lower anxiety and feelings of stress. Laughter may boost the immune system. Some studies show that laughing increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus potentially improving our resistance to disease.

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